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As people are starting to grow away from the traditional model of relationships, they tend to look at the ‘friends with benefits’ type of agreement. This is sex without the strings, without the emotions and without the anxiety.
I have learned over the past year that in order to have an effective slam piece relationship, both people need to be forthcoming about their intentions. It is crucial to define this “relationship” as a friend with benefits arrangement from the beginning.
The worst mistake you can make is having sex with a person and thinking you are both on the same page while in actuality you weren’t. This is detrimental because it will result in someone’s feelings getting hurt because they will think you are playing games with them and/or using them. Also you will probably never get to have sex with this person again so that is a pretty large pitfall.
The first rule of having a FWB is no texting unless it’s pertaining to meeting up and banging. Rare exceptions can be made, but it is best not to blur the lines as this can cause mixed messages. You should not be going on dates with this person unless that involves post coital room service after a nice session.
Jealousy is not an option in these types of arrangements. You can’t get mad or envious if the other person is hooking up with someone else. This isn’t a real relationship it is pure sex. Why are you preoccupied with their flirtations towards other people? You should be doing the exact same thing.
You cannot become too reliant on a slam piece or have any expectations whatsoever. As such, you should usually keep sex with this person to once a week, maybe twice if you’re hammered. There cannot be any implied ownership or expectations. Tendencies are fine as long as you don’t become dependent on them.
All FWB relationships should only last up to 3-4 months MAX. This is when feelings start to develop and the last thing you want to do is catch a case of these. When this arrangement comes to its end, you must not act bitter towards this person. Who gives a sh*t if they start dating someone else? You have gotten everything you needed and expected out of this person.
When you are meeting up with your FWB, it is best not to let the encounter lead to a sleepover, and if it does, do not linger. It sends the complete wrong message if you wake up spooning one another. WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT TO CUDDLE? Just stop. Please for the sake of both of you.
Many people wonder why they would want this type of relationship over a traditional one. This arrangement offers many positive aspects that conventional ones do not. The most obvious benefit is that you get sex with no strings attached. You get the availability of easy sex without the anxiety and limitations of a relationship. By removing all of the baggage that haunts couples, you get to engage in the purest form of pleasure.
When you go out at night hoping to meet someone, you always have a back up plan. This is comforting because you know no matter how the night pans out; you are getting some when you get home. People seek out things that are most convenient and easy to them and by having a booty call on speed dial you create the perfect situation.
The most important aspect of pursuing this type of arrangement is to always be open and honest. If you ever start to develop more than platonic feelings for this person, it is time to make your exit.