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Why are men so relationship shy? This is a question that many women have asked themselves in frustration many times in their lives. Still, shaking your fists at the heavens and asking ‘why’ isn’t going to get you any kind of answer. Here’s a few reasons why men have commitment-phobia.

Girlfriends Can Be Clingy

Men love being independent. We like having someone to come home to, but we don’t like to feel like we owe something to anyone. Girlfriends can take up a lot of time. On top of that, they can make you feel bad for not giving them even more time. Every guy has had a girlfriend that wanted him to drop everything whenever she wanted and do whatever she wanted. Women like that are at the top of the list of reasons why men don’t want girlfriends.

Girlfriends Try and Change Us

Believe it or not, men aren’t necessarily opposed to the idea of change. It’s when someone else tries to change us that we get a little on edge. It’s not that we don’t want a girlfriend per se. It’s that we want a girlfriend who is going to accept us for who we are — nothing more, nothing less. Trying to change someone is a lot of pressure. It can put a lot of strain on a relationship and when you change someone, you’re rarely happy with the results.

Girlfriends Don’t Get Our Passions

Whether it’s golf or Call of Duty, a lot of times women just don’t understand the passions and proclivities of the men that they date. This can lead to a lot of negative energy in the couple as she dismisses his hobbies and interests while expecting him to go Hummel shopping with her every weekend. Men need alone time and they need time with the guys. Preventing them from getting this is a recipe for resentment.

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Girlfriends Look to Us for Validation

“Does this make me look fat?” It’s almost a punch line to a joke at this point, but we still hate it. Why? Because you’re putting pressure on us by seeking validation. A truly strong woman doesn’t need validation from a man or anyone else. Going to your boyfriend for this kind of validation stresses him out and rightfully so: There’s often not a good answer to this type of question.

Men Like Space and Silence

He might not tell you this, but men value time alone and silence. It’s not that he doesn’t ever want to spend time with you or that he hates it every time that you talk. But if you keep talking to him and he doesn’t have much to say in response, you should take the hint and give him a little bit of room to just exist. An incessantly chatty girlfriend somewhere in his past might have him extra sensitive to his needs for privacy and silence.

So Do Men Prefer Being Single?

It’s not necessarily that men prefer being single. Rather, they might just have had bad experiences in the past that make them a little gunshy about getting into their next relationship. The best way to deal with this is to take his needs into account and to tread lightly, on the side of caution. Basically all men want some super stellar chick in their lives. You being that woman is the best way to get him to drop his defenses.

via The Art of Charm.