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For all those single people out there, you know how it is: you either can’t get laid or you’re banging 3+ plus people at a time. Everyone has heard the saying “when it rains, it pours.” Sexually speaking, you’re either in a drought or in a monsoon.

Why does this happen? Simple: you try and juggle all of these partners simultaneously. Before you know it, you end up dropping all of them because when you’re not paying attention to one person, he or she falls through, so you attempt to pay attention to this person again, only to have another partner fall through the cracks. At the end of this whole cycle, you are back alone.

However much you get is never enough, but unfortunately you can get used to not having it when you’re going through a drought.

Some people choose to embrace the ever-growing, ever-popular hook up culture that is present in society today. However, you need to learn how to play your cards right; this is why juggling partners is dangerous. Get a nice, steady rotation going; it’s perfectly fine as you are not taking part in a monogamous relationship — but this can get pretty awkward if your hook ups cross paths. The best way to avoid this happening is to make sure these people are in completely different social circles, so that they have no chance of overlapping. It’s not as if you were doing anything wrong, this is just one of those situations it is best to avoid altogether.

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It all trickles down to confidence. When you’re hooking up with people, you tend to settle in your ways and coast along. You think you’re super tight even when you’re not. When you think you’re golden, other people will believe this too and try and hook up with you. If you aren’t getting any action, however, your dissatisfaction becomes displayed in your game.

Now when something good happens, you want to keep that ball rolling by either doing something good right after, or by thinking good thoughts. Bad happens. It’s a fact of life. But you can minimize the bad by remembering everything is interconnected. When it rains it may pour, but you can get it to pour in the direction you want!

Think about it: when you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, do you notice the increase in others’ attention towards you? People will also always want what they cannot have. If you are out at a bar and someone is giving you loads of attention, don’t you notice others trying to get close to you? It’s hard to resist a challenge, which is what drives this theory if you really think about it.

People who are typically good at getting hook ups tend to become dissatisfied more easily since they are more accustomed to being desired. These types of people find it hard to understand why they are in a dry spell. They take it personally and feel as if some factor they can’t see must have changed. They try and reflect on what they did in the past and recreate that type of behavior. Honestly, though, when it comes down to it, it’s just plain ol’ timing mixed with luck. If you can’t see what went wrong, you are just going to cause yourself more pain than you need to by wallowing in your sorrows.

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We are not fixed and set in time, we can rise and fall, move in and out of phases. It’s just a lot of us get stuck in a rut and need a new look on life. We can catch a second wind and live a whole new life if we dared.

Dry spells don’t only plague the lives of single people, but those in relationships as well. This is perhaps the worst kind of dry spell because part of being in a relationship is having sex whenever you feel like it. The most likely reason you’re in a rut with your partner is that the sex isn’t mind-blowing and there’s only so much of it you can have before you become bored.

Honestly, what’s the point in even having sex if it isn’t all that great? This is the trap many couples actually fall into. The feelings and love are still present, but the sex life has vanished. You can’t be afraid to try new things, to step out of your comfort zone and to try something you have never done before. You may surprise both yourself and your partner.

At this point you have nothing to lose anyway, as you aren’t even having sex in the first place. Actively make time for sex and stop making excuses. You have to be open and honest in order to eradicate your problem. Hopefully, we can usher dry spells out as quickly as they occur. Get yourself out there and try and remain positive.

– via http://elitedaily.com